#2 Why Do You Have Sex?

[00:00:00] Speaker A: We are thrilled to partner with ExSens, who are all about making your sensual experience the best it can be. [00:00:08] Speaker B: ExSens has an amazing fall in love giveaway valued at over $700, and we'll tell you more about that halfway through our project. [00:00:19] Speaker A: Wow. ExSens really is a wonderful brand. [00:00:23] Speaker B: We love what ExSens is doing for your sensual and sexual experience. Why do you have sex? [00:00:31] Speaker A: Do you have sex because it makes you feel good and you want to, or do you have sex because you feel like you have to? [00:00:39] Speaker B: This episode of the Sensational Sex podcast, you'll find out how women find themselves in the broken orgasm as the goal sex rut. [00:00:48] Speaker A: You'll also find out what is your delayed sexual response and how by using your response of desire, it will move you into your sexual arousal. [00:00:58] Speaker B: We'll also cover why women never ask for something that she wants during sex because she won doesn't know how, two, doesn't feel like she deserves it, and three feels like it's too much work. [00:01:11] Speaker A: Welcome to the Sensational Sex podcast, where we help women in long term relationships thrive after the honeymoon stage is over. Are you a woman who wants a deep, intimate, and satisfying connection with her partner? Of course you do. Amy Rowan and doctor Trina Reid have the answers, and all you have to do is join us each week. Soon youll be that woman who effortlessly has a satisfying sex life. Follow us on social media at sensationalsexpodcast. Share this episode leave a review and thank you for subscribing. Now let's start the show. [00:01:57] Speaker B: Hello, beautiful people. I'm Amy Rowan. Thank you for listening to the sensational sex podcast. We are so happy to have you here. [00:02:05] Speaker A: Yes, and I'm doctor Trina Reid. And even though your sex life will never be perfect, you can create the sex life that's perfect for you. And we are here to help you with that. [00:02:15] Speaker B: September is national self Improvement Month. It marks the end of summer and the start of fall. And self improvement month is a time to really reflect on all the chief accomplishments this year before identifying which goals you still need to work towards. [00:02:29] Speaker A: Amy Fall is my favorite time of year because it's all about new beginnings, which is a perfect segue into this podcast. The sensational sex podcast is all about helping you become the juiciest, most yummy version of yourself. You know, that sounds pretty good to me. [00:02:47] Speaker B: I love it, and I adore fall as well. Fall here in the southeast of the United States is a little different than probably what you're experiencing up there in Canada. It is I love jeans weather. I love sweater weather. I love that little tang of cool in the air that we start to feel here in September. And, you know, to help you get there each week, this podcast will uncover a path for you to effortlessly step into that sensual and sexual person who's already inside of you, waiting to come out and greet the world. [00:03:17] Speaker A: She's waiting to come out, folks. [00:03:19] Speaker B: Let her in there. Yes. And we are going to get into the most powerful tool that you can use right this moment to turn your sex life around at the end of this podcast. [00:03:32] Speaker A: Amy, here's a big question, and it's the theme for today's podcast. Are you ready? [00:03:38] Speaker B: I'm ready. [00:03:39] Speaker A: Okay. Why do women have sex? Do women have sex because she wants to have sex, or do women have sex because for her partner. [00:03:49] Speaker B: Ooh, that is a big question. That's a question that oftentimes a lot of women may be asking themselves, why am I even doing this? I'll say, in an ideal world, in an ideal situation, a woman is having sex because it gives her pleasure. It makes her feel good about herself inside and out. It helps her feel more connected, and it strengthens her relationship with her partner and with herself. And of course, the biggest reason to have sex is because it's fun. But the reasons really can be very varied and nuanced. [00:04:24] Speaker A: Yeah. There's a big disconnect between the way sex is portrayed in the media and what actually happens behind closed doors. Women are so unhappy with her sexual circumstance, but they just. She just doesn't know how to change it, which can seem frustrating and really overwhelming. For a lot of women, having sex comes to mean feeling guilt and shame or pressure from her partner. And there's just so many women who want to feel sexually normal. [00:04:53] Speaker B: Trina, did I push a button? [00:04:55] Speaker A: Yes. [00:04:55] Speaker B: Normal. Normal. Normal. If we could get rid of this word from our vocabulary when talking about sex, because I, and I'm sure you've heard this, this is the biggest. Am I normal? Is this normal? Is what I'm doing normal? Is what I want normal? What is normal sex anyway? What is normal? Anything? And do we want to be normal, really, the only truly normal thing is the cycle on a washing machine. I just wish we can get rid of this word normal. We're going to dive deeper into what is quote unquote normal sex in a later episode. Something we, as women, don't talk about is how sex goes from something that makes you feel good to something that makes you feel bad. [00:05:37] Speaker A: Yeah. What happens is generally, is a lot of couples just don't give their sex a lot of thought. They just think it's something that's going to spontaneously happen. And so many couples are so surprised when one day they wake up and they've fallen into a sex ruthenous. And something we need to talk about is how do so many couples find themselves in this sex rut predicament? [00:06:04] Speaker B: So many couples have experienced this because in the beginning, in the beginning of a relationship and you meet somebody, sex often, not always, but often, can feel very easy and very effortless because your sex drive is strong. You just have this. The chemistry is just off the charts, and you're just tearing each other's clothes off. And sex is amazing. Fireworks are going off all the time. But that's the honeymoon phase. And anyone who's been in a long term relationship or multiple long term relationships knows that that wears off with time and. And then sex, it's done sort of an about face, and all of a sudden become, instead of being effortless, it can start to feel like a lot of work. [00:06:45] Speaker A: What we want to discover in this podcast series is how you can go from sex being something you have to do to something you want to do. [00:06:55] Speaker B: Because, let's be honest, what's the point of having sex when there's little to nothing in the sexual experience for you? Why. [00:07:03] Speaker A: Why bother? Reading a book is far more pleasurable than having sex that you just don't want to have. [00:07:10] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. Well, and, you know, a question that we ask sometimes as sexologists is, tell me about the sex that you do not want to have. Because if it's not pleasurable, if you're not enjoying it and you'd rather read a book, then it's okay to not want sex that you aren't enjoying. But one thing that sometimes makes us easier is to see and understand this process in people other than ourselves. You've got a really good real life example that will help people who may be experiencing some of this make sense of this. Can you tell us a little bit more about Stacy? [00:07:45] Speaker A: And this is not her real name. [00:07:47] Speaker B: Yes, of course. [00:07:49] Speaker A: She's 35. She's mostly happily married. She's a mother of two toddlers. We all remember that stage. It's a crazy stage. [00:07:57] Speaker B: That's a tough time. [00:07:58] Speaker A: Yeah. And she owns a successful graphic design business, and her sex life reads like every busy couple. Sex was great and effortless when they first met. Then it started to wane after their first year together. But it was still good enough and regular until dun, dun, dun. The kids came along after weathering a few post birthing female complications. She's got her kids out of diapers, and she's still maintaining her marriage and her business, but she's floundering to get her sex life back on track. I remember those days. Do you remember those days when the kids were just tiny and you're trying to have sex and nothing? [00:08:38] Speaker B: You're exhausted. Yes, well, and especially when you've got toddlers babies. You're being. I breastfed my children for a long time, and. And then you still have the little one. They're just touching you all the time, and you're just tired to the core of your bones. And then it sounds like Stacy is running her own business, as you and I, as entrepreneurs, can certainly relate to that. She's a busy wife. She's a busy mom. She's a businesswoman. She sounds like a woman who does it all and wants to do it all well and perfectly. And she wants her sex life to do that, too. But she's floundering here. What's going on with Stacy? What is she struggling with here? [00:09:18] Speaker A: Intellectually, she understands her relationship needs an intimate connection to keep it strong over the long term. But her body never fully cooperates while she's in bed. So out of desperation, she started having guilt sex, the obligation sex. And because she started this pattern of having sex because her partner wanted to have sex, it progressed into avoidance sex where she just avoided sex. Like she, you know, like she's, like, doing everything just to not have sex because there's nothing in it for her. [00:09:52] Speaker B: What I'm really hearing in Stacy is it sounds like. Like she really loves her husband. She cares about her marriage. It's very important to her. But she sounds like she's frustrated and unhappy with her body and having sex out of guilt. I mean, that doesn't sound fun at all. [00:10:08] Speaker A: I think we've all been there, though. [00:10:10] Speaker B: Like, I've been there. [00:10:11] Speaker A: I've had guilt sex, I've had obligation sex, and I can only speak for myself. And in the moment, you're doing what you have to do just to get through the day. And sometimes that had to include sex. And I didn't want it, but I had it and I did it. And it's not how we want to run our lives, but sometimes it's just. It just happens. Yeah. [00:10:30] Speaker B: Yeah. That's important for people to hear, too, is that even sexologists sometimes have sex that is not, like fireboard or grocery. [00:10:37] Speaker A: List as we're having sex absent. [00:10:39] Speaker B: It has absolutely happened, for sure. And. And. And if this is happening occasionally, there's not necessarily anything wrong with that, but when it's that pattern. So I wonder if this is happening every time. No wonder she started to avoid it. So here's the question. Like, is something wrong with Stacy? Like, is this sexual dysfunction? [00:10:56] Speaker A: I don't think Stacy has a sexual dysfunction. In fact, the Kinsey Institute found that fewer women have sexual problems than were previously thought. Only one in four american women are seriously distressed about their sex life. So with Stacy, it's just a matter of they've gotten into a sex rut, and she's having sex because her partner wants to have sex. She's not having sex because she wants to have sex. And so why are you having sex? What's the point of sex for you? For Stacey, it's just the chore. Kicking off that chore. I'm done this week. This chore is done, and now I don't have to worry about it. That's not what sex is supposed to be. [00:11:39] Speaker B: Well, it's reassuring for me to hear that this is not considered sexual dysfunction because, again, so many women feel when they get into this place that there's something wrong with me. I'm broken. So what can Stacy do to make this better? [00:11:51] Speaker A: When Stacy's life shifted, she was not given a manual on how to make a new sex routine. She felt pressured to do what they always did, and so she pressed on with what she knew, and she never had a discussion with her partner. The changes and how it was affecting her. And I know every sex expert says communication, communication, communication, especially in those moments, are so difficult. And I get it. [00:12:18] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. I like that you brought up sex routine. And something that I know that I've learned about, that we've learned a lot about, is a sexual script and identifying that and learning how to change that. So we'll be talking a little bit more about that. We've got a lot to discuss here, so much to unpack, but. But I want to pause just for a minute and test people's sexual iq. [00:12:40] Speaker A: Amy. I love me a giveaway. [00:12:43] Speaker B: Me, too. Especially when it involves things that bring me sensuality and loving touch. We are thrilled to be partnered with Xsens, who is doing the most amazing fall in love giveaway. [00:12:58] Speaker A: You don't miss out on the chance to win one of four luxurious bundles featuring a best selling iroha toy and great Xen products. Each bundle is worth over $175. [00:13:13] Speaker B: Indulge in a japanese and french love affair that will leave you swooning. Enter now for an experience that you'll. [00:13:21] Speaker A: Fall in love with, it's super easy to enter. Simply go to Xens dash usa.com to enter. Amy, can you imagine this amazing gift basket showing up on your doorstep? [00:13:35] Speaker B: Oh, I can. And how fun will it be for you and your partner to open it. [00:13:40] Speaker A: Together and all the fun things that will happen after? [00:13:46] Speaker B: You have until September 27, 2024 to enter. So go right this second before you. [00:13:52] Speaker A: Get distracted and share the love. And make sure to tell all your friends. [00:13:58] Speaker B: Make your fall a lot more interesting with the xcens fall in love giveaway. [00:14:04] Speaker A: Good luck. Amy and I were keeping our fingers and our toes crossed that you get to win the fall in love bundle. [00:14:12] Speaker B: And then we're going to get back into our sex coaching session after we test your sex knowledge. So I've got another question for you, doctor Trina. [00:14:21] Speaker A: Okay, I'm ready. [00:14:22] Speaker B: You ready? [00:14:22] Speaker A: Bring it on. Bring the question. [00:14:25] Speaker B: A lot of people are going to think they know the answer, but it might be surprising. Ready? Okay. Does sexual satisfaction increase or decrease for women as they get older? A does it increase? B decrease? Or c does it stay the same? [00:14:42] Speaker A: The answer is a. It increases. Something to look forward to as you age. Research found as men got older, sexual satisfaction did not change. By contrast, older women were more sexually satisfied than older men. By the time we get to that age, we're just getting our groove on and we figured things out and we're finally starting to put ourselves first. That's why women as we age were finally starting to really enjoy our sex. So what was interesting about this research is sexual frequency declined with age for both men and women. However, the decline was steeper for women than it was for men. People in their thirties said that their ideal would be twelve times per month. And by contrast, people in their seventies and beyond put their ideal at four times per month. [00:15:37] Speaker B: Across all age and gender groups, there were three of the most common reasons for having sex, and these were identical across all of these groups. So number one, having fun. Number two, feeling good. And number three, wanting to experience pleasure. [00:15:54] Speaker A: Nice. Well, I mean, those are the trifecta. [00:15:57] Speaker B: I mean, those are the reasons that I like to have sex too. So. Well, let's go back to Stacy. This is the part of the podcast where we are going to put on our sexologist hat and we are going to come up and talk about some practical solutions and ideas with Stacy. [00:16:13] Speaker A: Realistically, there's a plethora of reasons why a couple's sex over the long term goes from great to sideways to becoming a sex rut. And for the average couple, a big piece of the puzzle is our sexual socialization teaches couples to clutch and grab the hotspot. So breathe. It's like when we go into the sexual experience, I call it the chicken dance. The next time you go and have sex, you're going to be doing the chicken dance in your head, I promise you. So we're socialized that we clutch and grab the hotspots. And the purpose of sex is to have an orgasm. And why I. This is, this is how men prefer how to have sex, which is perfectly fine. However, the problem becomes that women generally go along with what her partner wants to do. So her partner wants to touch and grab the hot spots and have an orgasm by the start of a relationship. That's great. It's awesome. But as the relationship progresses and you go into years and years together, that formula stops working for a lot of women. [00:17:25] Speaker B: Yes, goal oriented sex. This is. This is something I see all the time as well. And you're right. It goes back to just this thought that the goal, the purpose of sex is to experience an orgasm. And there's nothing wrong with it. Obviously, orgasms are great. Like, I am a big, big fan of orgasms. Having an orgasm as the only purpose of sex is really missing out on all of the fun pleasure journey along the way. What you're saying is after a few years of really not knowing how to communicate and doing their best to make sex work, so many women find themselves trapped in this system. Systemic orgasm as the goal sex. And so the results. There was actually an interesting magazine poll that asks, are you satisfied with the variety of sex that you're having? And overall, 68% of men and women said that their sex life was, are you ready? Predictable. [00:18:30] Speaker A: Which is almost as bad as obligation sex. [00:18:32] Speaker B: I know. Predictable sex. [00:18:34] Speaker A: Predictable sex does not sound exciting to me. But the irony is that although Stacey has the ability to orgasm, she sometimes does, but mostly doesn't. And I. And they've done some research now to show that the more women feel pressured to orgasm with every sexual experience, the less likely she will be to orgasm. [00:18:58] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. [00:19:01] Speaker A: Right. We shouldn't be laughing. It's not funny. [00:19:04] Speaker B: No, it's not funny. [00:19:05] Speaker A: But you gotta laugh, because if you don't laugh, you're gonna cry. [00:19:07] Speaker B: Yeah, but when you recognize this and see this, when you. That the pressure to orgasm them is creating almost the inability to do so. And. But once you know that, then that starts to give you that piece of information that can help release you from this. She has the ability to orgasm. She sometimes does. She mostly doesn't. Why not? Why has this now become so challenging for her? [00:19:33] Speaker A: Yeah, there's probably a thousand different reasons, but typically, at the initiation of sex, Stacy's mind is probably going 90 miles an hour. She's got two toddlers. She's got a business. She's not in the zone. Her thoughts are somewhere else. And by the time she started to relax and moves from her head and into her body, the sex is over. This is played out too often. It becomes easier to get the sex over and done with, leaving him sort of satisfied. And her resentful. [00:20:03] Speaker B: Well, and resentful does not sound very fun. No, it certainly doesn't sound like it would inspire her to want to have any more sex than she's already having. And I'm glad that you pointed out here also, we talk a lot about the women's experience, but that he was probably only sort of satisfied there because, again, going back to the take one for the team. Right. Okay, well, this isn't gonna happen for me tonight. Honey, you go ahead and get yours. And he's like, okay, but I can just. [00:20:31] Speaker A: I just can go into the bathroom and do it myself. I don't need to have a warm body. Thank you. [00:20:37] Speaker B: Yeah, well, and I'm sure I feel like probably in the vast majority of circumstances, the partner in that situation can tell that there, their wife, girlfriend, partner isn't necessarily into it, and that doesn't feel very good for them either. [00:20:49] Speaker A: No, it's. No. [00:20:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:52] Speaker A: And the problem is nobody's discussing it. Like, you're just, like, finishing, and then you're done and you try and make the best of things, but you never talk about it. [00:21:01] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. And that's frustrating. They don't really know what to do about that either. [00:21:07] Speaker A: It is like the majority of women in long term relationships, what's happening for Stacy is she is experiencing a delayed sexual response, and she doesn't know, like so many women don't know, that in this moment where her mind is going 100 miles an hour, she has this delayed sexual response and she needs to put her responsive desire into action. [00:21:33] Speaker B: Delayed sexual response and responsive desire. This is sexologists speak. Let's talk. What do these things mean? Let's talk about these things. Meand. Yeah. This is our jargon. This is our world. What's delayed sexual response? [00:21:47] Speaker A: When couples think about sexual arousal, they think your partner touches you and immediately you're aroused. But that's spontaneous arousal. So your partner gives you a cue, your partner touches you or you are spontaneously aroused at the start of a relationship. Couples do experience spontaneous arousal. However, as the relationship progresses, the majority of women experience a delayed sexual response, meaning she doesn't feel like having sex at the time it is initiated. And in fact, it will take a little while for her to catch up with this idea of having sex. People just assume that we're always going to have this spontaneous sexual desire, when in fact, for women, that's not the case. This is why most sex educators say foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. Because what it's doing for women is while you're in this delayed sexual response, it's helping to warm. Foreplay is helping to warm up your body and your mind into this idea that, you know, you know, I can get aroused. This is going to be okay for me. This is going to be good. [00:22:53] Speaker B: I'll give you an example from my own life when I had small children, because it was sort of similar to Stacy. There is a time crawl into bed, just tired, exhausted, you know, husband is. They give you the signs of what they want, what they're looking for, and in that moment, no. Like, no. And then. But what I learned to do was I learned to say, you know what? Motivate me. And that basically means I need some foreplay, and I'm going to need you to put in some time and some work and some effort. [00:23:26] Speaker A: I like it. [00:23:27] Speaker B: And get some stuff going. And I learned to say, motivate me. And opening a willingness window. I learned a lot more technology or a lot more technical terms for this later on. Basically, that was his cue of, my head is not here. My body is not here. But if you can wake up my body, my head will. I know that my head will follow. [00:23:46] Speaker A: Sue's, and I just want to intervene because this fantastic Amy asked for what she wanted in that moment, and it wasn't a big ask. And I would assume that your partner was more than happy to accommodate your ask. And that's the thing. Women are afraid to ask. But when we actually do ask, our partners are like, yeehaw. I'm like, they're so happy when you ask for what you want. [00:24:08] Speaker B: Yeah. The interesting thing was I wasn't necessarily specific because I don't think that I even. But I said, motivate me. I opened that door and I said, you can just do some things. Get my body going, get the blood flowing, because really, foreplay. And I don't like the word foreplay, by the way. I like to call it foreplay because foreplay sounds optional, but that is increasing all of the blood flow. And it takes most women approximately 20 to 40 minutes to experience full arousal. It takes women approximately 20 to 40 minutes to experience that full arousal. But once you're experiencing that arousal, that's what that delayed sexual response is, is we experience arousal before desire versus the desire before arousal. Right? [00:24:55] Speaker A: Yeah. What we need to do to overcome our delayed sexual response is responsive desire. And responsive desire is simply putting your body into the motions of having sex. So this could look like foreplay or touching your partner. Responsive desire is similar to muscle memory. Wherever I. When you put your body into the motions, the tactile, the touch, the smell, like everything, it just gets you going. [00:25:22] Speaker B: Responsive desire is, again, for those who experience that, they need to experience some sort of arousal. And so, yes, it can be kissing, it can be touching, it can be massage. It can be just different ways to help sort of open up what I call the erotic mindset and helping to. Yes. And I know we're diving into mindset soon. Maybe it's instead of reading the self help book that you're reading or whatever you're reading before, it's reading a little erotic, a little stimulating, watching something that is, again, it's just triggering your brain and helping you to turn off all of these other things. [00:25:58] Speaker A: Knowing you have delayed response and knowing you need responsive desire, it's being very intentional, saying, sex has been initiated. I don't feel like having sex right now, but I'm going to go in with an open mind to say, okay, I don't want it, but I wonder what can happen. I like this idea of, I wonder what can happen, because honestly, you don't know what's going to happen happen with your body in this moment. Like, your body might just, like, blossom, and you might just have the best sex of your life, and it might just be okay. But instead of shutting it down, saying, I don't want to do this, saying, I wonder how this can be. And then you start doing things intentionally, like reading a erotica or touching your partner's body or taking a shower with each other, like you're doing something that's putting you in a. And the best possible mindset to waken up your sexual desire and sexual arousal. Suddenly sex starts to be a lot more interesting and fun for you. [00:26:51] Speaker B: That's absolutely right. [00:26:53] Speaker A: Thanks. Getting back to Stacy. Women like Stacy never ask for more because she just doesn't know how to ask for more. She doesn't feel like she deserves it. And sometimes, and I get this, it just feels like too much work so. [00:27:09] Speaker B: Many women unwittingly build up a lot of just unacknowledged resentment towards their spouse, towards their partner, and towards the sexual experiences that they're having. This is where that sort of typical cycle of her sex life going from excited to neutral to apathetic to guilty to resentful to avoidance. And that's where that starts. [00:27:35] Speaker A: So here's a little known fact. At this point in Stacy's relationship, learning communication techniques and bedroom tricks probably will do very little for the couple because I feel like she's reached the apathetic stage of sex. The apathetic stage is women who say, I don't care if I ever have sex again. That's the apathetic stage. And it's probably the most difficult stage to be in because her biggest sex organ, her brain, is digging in its heels and unconsciously and it's digging in its heels and unconsciously refusing to enjoy sex. [00:28:15] Speaker B: And instead, this is the important part. Women need to learn how to turn around that mindset and change that base emotional response to sex from resentful. Next step would be moving into neutral and then moving into a positive mindset. And that's when they are once again enjoying the sex. So what is a positive sexual mindset? [00:28:43] Speaker A: When you say positive sexual mindset, you think you love sex all the time. Sex is always amazing. But that's not what a positive sexual mindset is. It's. It's looking for what's going right with your sexual experience instead of focusing in on and looking for what's going wrong when you're actively when you're in sex and you're actively looking for the things that feel good for you, that's putting on a positive sexual mindset. And we've already touched on this, you know, it's going into the sexual experience saying, well, I wonder what, I wonder what's going to happen. I wonder how this is going to turn out, or you're intentionally doing things to make this experience good for you. So a positive sexual mindset is really about seeking out what's working in your relationship and focusing in and being grateful for the things that are going well with your sex instead of focusing in on the things that are going bad or terrible and how you don't want it and how you're always inconvenienced and how you feel guilt. Like instead of focusing on these things, you're focusing on the things that are working for you. And it takes time, if you're over here and it takes time to move. [00:29:55] Speaker B: Over to here, yeah, it's important that you highlight that, too, that this is a journey, this is a process. This isn't something that's going to happen overnight. We actually, if we go back into my example of the motivate me in that moment, I could have been focused on no higher touch, no. Gosh, he's asking again. I could have been focusing on all of the negative parts of that, which would have been very easy to focus on. But what I chose to focus on in that moment was, I know that with a little bit of time, a little bit of motivation, a little bit of stimulation, I'm going to start to feel good and I will start to experience some pleasure, and I'm going to allow this to happen and welcome it, because I know at the end I'm not going to regret having had sex with my husband tonight. It's going to be a fun, positive experience. You know, that was just, that's a mindset thing right in there, choosing to focus on this side of it versus this side of it. [00:30:53] Speaker A: Yeah, that's really well said. I mean, we're going to cover all of this and more during this podcast series. So what we're going to do is show you how to stop forcing yourself into a sexual framework that makes you unhappy and how you can create a sex life that works for you. And it really is based on this positive sexual mindset. [00:31:15] Speaker B: Yeah. And this, I mean, this is going to take some time and some effort and some change on your part, and. [00:31:23] Speaker A: You are worth it. You're worth it. [00:31:26] Speaker B: You are worth it. And the thing is, anything worth doing is going to take some time and change and effort, but it's not as much as you might think. And we are here to help you every step of the way. [00:31:40] Speaker A: Yeah. And in next week's podcast, we're going to discuss why a positive sexual mindset is the magic bullet to a lifelong, fulfilling sex life. [00:31:51] Speaker B: Magic bullet. Yes. I'm excited. So we would love to hear your questions. We would love to hear your feedback. What are you enjoying about our podcast? What do you want to hear more of? If there's anything that you would like to hear different or like for changes, we are open to all of that. So please make sure to email [email protected]. we will be doing giveaways, and in order to be eligible for those, we do need to have your email address so that we can get ahold of you. [00:32:23] Speaker A: So make sure Amy has the best gifts. Amy's the one. She's the. She's the woman. So you want Amy's giveaways? They're awesome. [00:32:31] Speaker B: We've got fun stuff I love. [00:32:33] Speaker A: Yeah, she does some fun stuff. [00:32:34] Speaker B: Getting stuff in the mail. No one gets anything fun in the mail that you haven't paid for. [00:32:38] Speaker A: Okay, Amy, until next week. Thanks to everyone. And until next time. Take care. [00:32:44] Speaker B: Take care. [00:32:45] Speaker A: What is the magic bullet to your happy and fulfilling sex life? [00:32:50] Speaker B: Sexual mindset? A positive sexual mindset shifts your perspective and enables you to see what's going right with your sex life instead of seeking out and focusing on what's going wrong. [00:33:02] Speaker A: In this episode of the Sensational Sex podcast, you'll find out why approximately half of all women experience some kind of sexual difficulty at one point in their lives with a lack of interest in sex. Being by far the most common will. [00:33:18] Speaker B: Also help you learn how to notice and reframe any negative thoughts that you may have about sex. [00:33:23] Speaker A: Why a positive sexual mindset is the key to cultivating your desire, increasing your sexual pleasure, and finding joy in your intimacy. [00:33:35] Speaker B: Are you ready to experience more passion and more pleasure? In my suburban intimacy practice, I offer one on one sex and intimacy coaching for women and couples. Book a complimentary discovery call at suburban intimacy.com or learn more about my intimacy ignite program. Your solution to experiencing satisfying and fulfilling sexual experiences and connection, even when you're busy, tired, stress intimacy ignite is a curated collection of stimulating sex education activities and challenges, whether you are single or in a relationship. Plus, live coaching with me twice a month. Save $10 off your first month with the code podcast. You can learn [email protected] dot is more. [00:34:21] Speaker A: Fulfilling sex on your mind, but not in your bedroom? Then go to trinaread.com to get your free copy of the Sex Bootcamp Masterclass. While you're there, check out my award winning fiction book, the Sex course, that went to number one in its Amazon category. Three days after launch. Both the sex course and sex bootcamp workbook are available in audiobook. If you want to hang with groovy, like minded, sex positive women, then join my online courses and the success community. It's your time to create the sex life of your dreams. It all [email protected] did you love what you learned today? [00:35:06] Speaker B: Share this episode with someone who needs it. Friends don't let friends have bad sex. Leave a review for this episode and follow like or subscribe on the listening app of your choice. We love hearing from our listeners. Email [email protected] dot. You can follow us on all social media platforms at Sensational SX podcast and join our mailing [email protected].