#4 How to Get Out of a Sex Rut

[00:00:00] Speaker A: We are thrilled to partner with Xenz, who are all about making your sensual experience the best it can be. [00:00:08] Speaker B: Xenz has an amazing fall in love giveaway valued at over $700, and we'll tell you more about that halfway through our project. [00:00:19] Speaker C: Wow. [00:00:20] Speaker A: Xenz really is a wonderful brand. [00:00:23] Speaker B: We love what Xenz is doing for your sensual and sexual experience. Does sex add or subtract from your relationship happiness? [00:00:35] Speaker A: We're giving you five ways you can tell if you've fallen into a sex rut. [00:00:40] Speaker B: In this episode of the Sensational Sex podcast, you'll find out why you may not be interested in sex. [00:00:46] Speaker D: You'll also find out why women grow bored, tired, and frustrated with a sexual. [00:00:52] Speaker A: Framework that is broken. [00:00:55] Speaker B: We'll also discuss why women don't feel worthy enough to ask for something different, meaning sex that suits her sexual needs. [00:01:04] Speaker E: Welcome to the Sensational Sex podcast, where we help women in long term relationships thrive after the honeymoon stage is over. Are you a woman who wants a deep, intimate, and satisfying connection with her partner? Of course you do. Amy Rowan and doctor Trina Reid have the answers, and all you have to do is join us each week. Soon youll be that woman who effortlessly has a satisfying sex life. Follow us on social media at sensationalsexpodcast. Share this episode leave a review and thank you for subscribing. Now let's start the show. [00:01:49] Speaker D: Hello, beautiful people. Thank you for listening to the sensational sex podcast. We're so happy for you to come along on this ride with us. [00:01:58] Speaker C: Even though your sex life will never be perfect, you can create a sex life that's perfect for you, and we are here to help you with that. [00:02:06] Speaker D: We are. And Amy, here's a joke. [00:02:09] Speaker C: Are you ready? [00:02:11] Speaker D: Husband says to his wife, why don't you tell me when you orgasm? And she replies, well, I don't like calling you when you're at work. Dun dun dun dun. [00:02:22] Speaker C: You know what I love about this, though? It's a joke. But this is also really good sex advice. Do you know why? [00:02:29] Speaker D: Why is that? [00:02:31] Speaker C: Because I love that this woman is having some self care time. She's having a little sexy time on her own, exploring her body. And he isn't this part of what we advise as sexologists? [00:02:43] Speaker D: Absolutely. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable you're going to be with your partner. So bring it on. Do it often. It's a good thing for everybody. Everybody wins this podcast. We're talking about five ways that you can tell if you've fallen into a sex rut. So we'll get into some practical ideas on what you can do about it at the end of this podcast. [00:03:05] Speaker C: What is a sex ruthen? [00:03:08] Speaker D: There's a lot of definitions of a sex rut, but it means that you and your partner have reached a point. The sex you're having feels mundane, boring, and it's maybe even non existent. [00:03:21] Speaker C: Some indications that might tell you that you are in a sex rut. You might be feeling bored, disconnected. You might have a lack of physical or emotional connection. You might even be feeling really lonely in your own relationship. [00:03:36] Speaker D: That's a tough place to be when you're feeling lonely in your own relationship. [00:03:40] Speaker C: Yeah, I've had clients in the past who told me that they feel they in the same room with their partner, but they feel like they're alone. And that's so sad. That type of statement really breaks my heart. It may feel different to each person, but the bottom line is, when you're in a sex rut, things just don't feel as exciting or fresh through the relationship, and the connection just may not feel like it used to. Do you think that sex adds or subtracts from your relationship happiness? [00:04:11] Speaker D: Well, Amy, what do you mean by that? [00:04:14] Speaker C: Emily McCarthy's book rekindled desire stated that the adage in sex therapy is that when sexuality goes well, it is a positive, integral, but not a major component, and it adds 15% to 20% to the couple's vitality and satisfaction. However, when sexuality is dysfunctional or non existent, assumes an inordinately powerful role, 50% to 70% robbing the partnership of intimacy and vitality. [00:04:45] Speaker D: What I take from that statement is, it's so easy to take our relationships for granted when we're in sync with our partner and things are going well and we're having great sex and we're having a great relationship, we aren't paying attention. It's only when things start going sideways and when we start moving into a rut, that's when we start focusing in on what's happening to our relationship. And in order to not get into a sex rut with your partner, you really need to pay attention. When things are going well. Be grateful. Acknowledge it. Say it to your partner, hey, we're doing really great, or whatever you say to your partner. But just acknowledge that you're in this great zone with each other. And when you do that, it's easier to stay in that zone. [00:05:29] Speaker C: Being intentional about all parts of our relationship is so important, and it's a challenge. It's hard because certainly in the busyness of everyday life, it's easy just to kind of let things day in and day out, just kind of move on. Reflecting that into what we've talked about in last week's episode, practicing gratitude, being kind to your partner. And those are intentional steps that you can say to nurture your relationship and that also nurtures your sex life. [00:06:02] Speaker D: Sex should be a mutually fun space and something you look forward to. Sex should give you vitality and satisfaction. This is the purpose of sex, is to bring you closer, give you vitality, give your couple's life satisfaction. So that's what it's there for. [00:06:23] Speaker C: Yeah, here's the thing, but. [00:06:24] Speaker D: Oh, here's the but. [00:06:26] Speaker C: It is so easy to fall into a sex rut, and it is even more challenging to dig yourself out of. [00:06:34] Speaker D: This is where a lot of couples find themselves, and they know that they've hit this rut. They don't know how to discuss it with their partner. Getting out of this rut doesn't have to be difficult. However. Here's my but, Amy. However, the challenge is you need to understand and then take responsibility for how you got there in order to get yourself out. A lot of people don't want to take responsibility for why they got there. They just want to blame their partner. They just want to point the finger at their partner. Sex is a two way street, and it takes two people, and you have to take responsibility for how you got yourself here. [00:07:12] Speaker C: Yeah, I've heard that. Unfortunately, more times than I would like to, I have a client that comes to me, and they say, my husband, my partner, sometimes it's the other way. You know, my wife says something's wrong with me. This is my issue to fix, and how do I fix myself? And you're right. It takes two people to get there, and it takes two people to help work your way out of it. A big reason why the average woman in a long term relationship isn't enthused about sex is because she's trying to fit a so called round peg into a square hole. [00:07:47] Speaker D: That can be taken a lot of ways. Amy, women are having orgasm focused sex when she probably needs something more or different in order to be satisfied. [00:07:58] Speaker C: Did you know that there are 40 million plus north american women and they feel that sex is just kind of meh meh. [00:08:08] Speaker D: I'm not surprised by that. Like, 40 million. That's a lot of women. But it doesn't surprise me that they feel meh about sex. [00:08:17] Speaker C: Yeah. And everyone these days is looking for an easy solution to what is really a very complicated, multi layered, modern day life question. And that question is, how can I have fun and meaningful sex while trying to be super mom, super worker, super wife and oddheaddeh? Yeah, I'm trying to do things for myself, health care, all of these things. And how can I somehow have a great sex life in the midst of doing all of these things? [00:08:46] Speaker D: When we look, do we take our relationships for granted? Why do we let things slide? Why does this happen? We've got so much going on that we're trying to juggle all these things. Sex is just one of them. We're not blaming you if you get into sex rush because it happens to everybody. And in fact, in 2005, the acclaimed sex research facility, the Kinsey Institute surveyed 853 women between the ages of 20 and 65. Improved demands of modern life are to blame for women having less sex. [00:09:22] Speaker C: To add on to that, a major women's Niwazine polled 7007, 895 readers. And they asked them, what are some reasons that you did not have sex last month? And among women, 42% said that they were too busy or too stressed. 34% cited different bed times than their partner, 35% said that they weren't interested. And 23% said feelings about their body made them less interested. So just not feeling good about themselves, whether it was eight or health or. [00:09:55] Speaker D: Things like that, it makes sense that there's a lot of things working against couples if you're not paying attention and you're just living your life. And it's easy to fall into a. [00:10:07] Speaker C: Sex rut so often. Also part of this is people looking for reasons not to have sex. I am too busy. I am too tired. I gained five pounds. I just don't feel good about myself or I'm hangry with my partner in all of these different things, it's multilayered. And I would certainly get to say that of these percentages I just rattled off, probably a lot of those people have faults. Many of those things simultaneously. [00:10:34] Speaker D: Yeah, or separately. We've all felt this way, which is pretty awful. Eventually, the struggle is too much, and it's like women are failing at sex over and over again until she becomes apathetic and gives up. And there's no greater libido killer than a woman who's become apathetic about sex. And if you don't know if you're apathetic about sex generally, women say things like, I don't care if I ever have sex again. And we understand why you're there. [00:11:08] Speaker C: The important thing here is instead of women putting themselves into pretzels you know, we try to earn everything and flip it and let me try this and this and this. Certain things. I'm trying to be a better wife and a better mother and a better worker and promoted things. We're wrapping ourselves and use pretzels to make all of this work and to make their sex work. Sex needs to work for that woman. And there is an easy solution. And we're gonna get when a couple. [00:11:38] Speaker D: Actually gets into a rut, they might cheat, which is a really bad segue. I'm sorry, I don't want to scare the listeners. I was just trying to move into. [00:11:48] Speaker C: Our sex IQ, but I mean, it is essential. There's a lot of fuckles who would say, look, our sex life isn't where we want it to be. I would never cheat. For some fuckles that does happen. [00:12:00] Speaker A: It's a really Amy, I love me a giveaway. [00:12:05] Speaker C: Me too. [00:12:07] Speaker B: Especially when it involves things that bring me sensuality and loving touch. We are thrilled to be partnered with Xsens, who is doing the most amazing fall in love giveaway. [00:12:20] Speaker A: Don't miss out on the chance to win one of four luxurious bundles featuring a best selling aroha toy and great xsens products. Each bundle is worth over $175. [00:12:35] Speaker B: Indulge in a japanese and french love affair that will leave you swooning. Enter now for an experience that you'll fall in love with. [00:12:45] Speaker A: It's super easy to enter. Simply go to xns dash usa.com to enter. Amy, can you imagine this amazing gift basket showing up on your doorstep? [00:12:57] Speaker C: Oh, I can. [00:12:58] Speaker B: And how fun will it be for you and your partner to open it. [00:13:02] Speaker A: Together and all the fun things that will happen after? [00:13:08] Speaker B: You have until September 27, 2024 to enter. So go right this second before you. [00:13:14] Speaker A: Get distracted and share the love. And make sure to tell all your friends. [00:13:19] Speaker B: Make your fall a lot more interesting with the xcens fall in love giveaway. [00:13:26] Speaker D: Good luck. [00:13:26] Speaker A: Amy and I were keeping our fingers and our toes crossed that you get to win the fall in love bundle. [00:13:34] Speaker C: Unfortunate. Let's do sex than IQ and then we're going to. Okay. All right. Are you ready? I got the best. Here we go. Can someone predict whether a woman has cheated based on her face alone? A yes, b, no, or c depends. What do you think? [00:13:56] Speaker D: Well, the answer, Amy, is B no. In this study, 1516 heterosexual adults, 61% were and all were caucasian, viewed facial pictures of either male or female adults of the same race. The people in the photos had neutral expressions and the photos were cropped such that the face was the main focus. [00:14:23] Speaker C: Both male and female participants were able to predict. This is interesting. Whether men had engaged in cheating and or poaching. However, neither male nor female participants were able to predict whether women had cheated or poached before. Oh, sounds like we're the better liars. [00:14:41] Speaker D: Is that a good thing? [00:14:42] Speaker C: I don't know. What does that mean? I'm not sure. [00:14:45] Speaker D: I don't want to take a guess at that. [00:14:46] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:47] Speaker D: So men with more masculine looking faces, guys with more square jaws rather than rounded faces, were rated more likely to be unfaithful. [00:14:57] Speaker C: Very square jaw. That's more masculine. There's more. That's an assumption of more testosterone in my mind. I can see why that would be like someone who's a bigger. More testosterone, that sort of thing. I used to w rated is more likely to cheat. My. My husband is, um, he's just a finner, bill sort of guy who can explain attractions. I never really know attractions. Really big guys. That's just never been my thing. I don't ever. Susan, I go into roosters. I literally thinking they're gonna cheat. Who knows? [00:15:24] Speaker D: I don't know. It shows this newfangled term unconscious bias that we have. Yeah, it's just an unconscious bias that we have about men with square jaws. [00:15:34] Speaker C: Yeah. It's interesting what I wish that we could see, and I hope that there's more of this. This particular study was talking about heterosexual and caucasian. I'd love to see the study done with more diversity and inclusion and things like that. It'd be curious to see how people would evaluate if you look ouch, TBQ or things like that. If I would flight. If there's differences there, I'd be curious. Now, this is the part of the podcast where we are going to put on our sexologist hat and give you concrete and practical tools to help with your sexual situation. [00:16:14] Speaker D: How do you know if you've fallen into a sex rut? The first step is to ask yourself, why am I not interested in sex anymore? [00:16:25] Speaker C: You don't need time for sex. No foreplay. Fine with you. I don't really care. No big deal. [00:16:31] Speaker D: I'd rather be doing anything else than having sex. And a lot of times that's avoiding sex. [00:16:38] Speaker C: And, you know, you and your partner never discuss sex. This entire sex, from start to finish, is predictable. Yeah, that's not. Not fun words. [00:16:49] Speaker D: When you're at a point in a relationship where the sexual cues are the same and when you walk into the bedroom, the sex is the same. When I'm speaking I make a joke of just try the other side of the bed because it's just shaking things up and it's easy to do. But when you're having the exact same sex every single time, if you did anything, it doesn't matter if it's sex. If you did anything the same over and over and over again, anything would become boring. [00:17:18] Speaker C: I know in our sexology world, specifically, I'm thinking of Doctor Ian Carter's book. So tell me about the last 75 sex. He talks about the sexual script. Most couples have a few. A few sexual scripts that you generally follow. Kind of depends on how much time you have, what mood you're in. The touch you here, I touch you here, I do this, you do this. They have this position, we have this position, we roll over a bit of it. Most couples have some version of this, a few, you know, depending on how much time you have, what mood you're in, where you are in your cycle, who knows? Whatever it is, looking at that sexual script and finding ways to change that up. If you see novelty, that's what rapes. [00:17:57] Speaker D: That can feel overwhelming to say something to your partner. Can we do this or try this? Just having that conversation outside the bedroom in a productive and assertive way, you know, the way we're supposed to be doing, having communication, you know, I feel like that's intimidating and maybe overwhelming. For some women, even doing something like bringing a lube into the bedroom. Lube is amazing. Lube is the bomb. It makes all sex better. But bringing that new thing into the bedroom, you have to take the lube bottle out, you have. You have to open the cap, you have to pour it out. It breaks the momentum. And if you don't feel confident enough to do that sort of thing, it's easy to stay stuck in your sex rut. Something I like to say to couples is if you want to shake things up, read something on the Internet and share it with your partner. That way you can read it in different rooms. You're not together. It doesn't have to be awkward, but you're both reading it and you're both maybe getting ideas. And maybe when you go into the bedroom, there's going to be that openness to doing something different. It doesn't have to cause conflict, be something fun. But there's the getting over the awkwardness of bringing something different into the mix. [00:19:17] Speaker C: There's just so much fear about communicating about sex. It's something as simple as to your example, let's try this lubricant. Or let's try this new toy. Because there's just a fear of, I guess the partner reacting is, oh, well, what am I not enough? Is this not good? Are you not enjoying this? When perhaps that is the case, not about not being enough, but maybe you're not enjoying it as much, but it's more of, I just want to try something a little bit new. Let's change things up a little bit because it's fun. That's the novelty, that's the spice. Initiating those conversations, just being able to say, I just want to, you know, try something a little bit different. Because, look, we've got another 1020, 30, 40 years ahead of us. So let's, you know, let's change up the sexual. It'll be interesting. [00:20:04] Speaker D: Something that isn't discussed often enough is women love sex. And the average woman in the average relationship has a healthy and robust sexual desire, arousal and libido. [00:20:21] Speaker C: There's a meme that I saw that I always loved, and it says something like, men think that they want a woman who wants a lot of sex until they actually have one. Which always cracks me up because truly a woman with high arousal, libido and desire, we don't have a long refractory period. We can go and go and go as long as we want, as many times as we want, until we decide to call it a day. So if it's not her, then what could be from her? Please? [00:20:55] Speaker D: Well, Amy, the way couples are expected to have sex is broken, and a big reason couples find themselves in a sex rut is their sex becomes predictable, which we talked about. A big part of the predictability is too many couples only ever have orgasm focused sex. The purpose of this sexual encounter is to have an orgasm, and there's nothing wrong with that. But it does become predictable for a lot of women. After a while, it just doesn't do it for them. [00:21:29] Speaker C: I expect there might be a few people who are listening right now who are saying, what should we be having? If not, if it's not focus sex, what should the focus of sex be? Yeah, and my, you know, my answer to that is pleasure focused. The side of this is that, is that most women are unable to communicate what they want, so they want something different, because for all the reasons we just talked about. And so it makes a lot of sense that many women start to grow bored and frustrated with this sexual framework, this orgasm focused sex that sets her up for failure. Because if she's not having orgasms now, she feels broken or if it's taking too long, all of those things. And so just because of all that, she just starts to lose interest because she's not feeling good and becomes apathetic. Yeah. [00:22:19] Speaker D: The good news is it's not you. It's the sex you're having. Yes, but this is where you have to take responsibility and ask for something different. And it breaks my heart. Can you hear my heart breaking, Amy? [00:22:36] Speaker C: It's breaking. [00:22:37] Speaker D: This is where most women's sexual journeys stop. She doesn't know how to ask for what she wants and to do something different. [00:22:46] Speaker C: For those of you who are listening, who are hearing a lot of yourself and what we're saying right now, the key is believing that you are worth the effort. [00:22:58] Speaker D: You are. You are worth the effort. [00:23:01] Speaker C: You are worth the effort to follow through and to get to the other side of this. And this will be the biggest challenge as part of this process. But you are worth it. [00:23:16] Speaker D: Feeling worthy is a woman's biggest challenge for everything, not just sex, but in a lot of different areas. That's a systemic problem that we're all working on. But, Amy, why do you think it's so hard for women to believe she is worthy? [00:23:31] Speaker C: Oh, I know this isn't open a. [00:23:34] Speaker D: Can of worms here. We're just opening that can of worms. [00:23:37] Speaker C: Innately, we are trained, we are taught to take care of. Of everybody else. A lot of this goes back to the messages that we received growing up. I was raised with a mom who's a psychotherapist, who told me I was amazing and wonderful, and she told. She filled me with lots of great messages, and I'm grateful for that. But even as a teenager, as a young woman, I still struggled with that, and I still struggle with some of that now hear these different, conflicting messages, and it's just so hard to be able to pull up that strength within ourselves. It's just. It's challenging. What do you think? [00:24:14] Speaker D: It starts at birth, really, in how we're socialized from birth, and it's nobody's fault. It's just the way things are. I look at how I'm raising my sons. I have two sons, and I feel like how I'm raising them would probably be different than how I would raise a girl, even though I would want to raise them exactly the same way, like I have what we already talked about, these unconscious biases. I look at the my mother's generation and how she treats the females in our family, which is very different than how she treats the males in our family. And she's only a generation away from me. I don't know, if you can relate to that. Whereas older women treat men differently than they treat the daughters. And as much as I would rail against that, if I had my own, I would probably be sneaking into this some. [00:25:05] Speaker C: It's hard, but I do believe that each generation moves the needle incrementally. You know, the discussions that young women are having these days are so different from discussions that I had when I was in my, you know, I love enthusiastic consent and the me too movement. You know, all these things have really moved the needle. And I like to think that hopefully we are raising younger women that are feeling stronger and more worthy than how we felt and how the previous generations alone follow for us. [00:25:42] Speaker D: And just add to that, I have a niece, and she's super outspoken. And at first I was like, whoa, whoa. But then I was like, yes, of course. Like, that was just my automatic response. Who are you to be this fall? You know, that's exactly what she should be. [00:25:59] Speaker C: You're too much. You're too loud. You're saying you need to sit down, you need to listen, you need to x, y, z. I was raised with a feminist mother, so I didn't hear as much of that, but it still innate in the world. But I love that. I love that your niece is speaking up and, and being big, and I hope that the world does not take that away from her. [00:26:18] Speaker D: It's. It's up to me to raise her up, to raise this, raise her and her opinion, and, you know, even if I don't agree with her, whatever, it doesn't matter. She's doing it, and I need to raise that up. That's my job. [00:26:31] Speaker C: And, and as moms of sons, because, you know, we're raising young men instead of daughters. You know, one of the biggest things that I know is really important to me is raising my boys to respect strong women and to hold up strong women and not, not be intimidated by that and support that. We never know exactly how ourselves are going to turn out. You know, I hope that my boys will continue to support women in their lives. [00:27:01] Speaker D: My two sons, they are attracted to really smart, really confident. I feel like I've done something right with my life when I look at who they're choosing. Women, if you are on this journey, a good and easy place to start with your self worth, with getting out of a sex rut, is with your emotional intimacy and build from there. A 2018 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that higher levels of emotional intimacy are associated with higher sexual desire in long term relationships. Finding new things with your partner is one way to build that feeling of together. [00:27:45] Speaker C: This is such a critical piece of it, and this is something that I hear all the time we get into bed, and that's when my partner reaches over and starts to touch me, and that's way too late. So that needs to start way earlier in the day. So maintaining that non sexual touch is that non sexual physical intimacy is so critical on every level. That's hugs, that's cuddling, caresses as you pass in the hallway. One thing, my husband, I dance in the kitchen cooking dinner and help him. [00:28:17] Speaker B: Up, and we'll just do a little. [00:28:18] Speaker C: Dance, rally, chitchat, sharing my kids. Stop. Relax. [00:28:21] Speaker D: What we're gonna do, we're not stopping. [00:28:23] Speaker C: No, we're not stopping. [00:28:25] Speaker D: You have to watch. [00:28:26] Speaker C: That's right. And we do not watch. You can leave. [00:28:29] Speaker D: We're gonna. [00:28:30] Speaker C: We're gonna. We're gonna kiss because we like that. But all of this goes such a long way towards meeting sensory needs, connective needs, and getting into that habit of regular physical touch that doesn't lead to sex. Non intentional touch, that's the other thing. Because if a partner, generally speaking, the woman feels like the only reason that the husband is coming up and kissing and touching her is because it's going to lead to sex, that she's going to start recoiling from that touch. Non intentional touch can help partners feel more relaxed. Obviously, all that great oxytocin, and that's going to benefit your physical relationship. And when you feel comfortable touching and being touched without the expectation for more, this can ultimately help you feel more receptive to sex. [00:29:23] Speaker D: All the things that you do outside the bed make a huge act about what goes on inside the bedroom and touch and saying nice things to your partner. Creating that non sexual good experience with your partner outside the bedroom helps to make communication and all. All the awkward things that might have to happen inside the bedroom to stop this sex rut, to do something different, to change things up. All of that emotional intimacy that you're building up is going to help move you out of this sex rut and into something different, something new, something that is more enjoyable for the both of you. [00:30:01] Speaker C: Yes. And in episode three, in our last episode, we talked about positive sexual mindsets and how that is linked to your sexual self esteem. [00:30:11] Speaker D: A big part of getting out of the sex rut is refocusing, reframing your thoughts from what's going wrong. Because when you're in a sex rut, you're just really focusing on what's going wrong and as you when your partner initiates sex, you recoil from the set. Oh, they're touching me because they want sex. [00:30:28] Speaker C: Touch the version. [00:30:29] Speaker D: All these thoughts are going through your head, paying attention to your mindset and reframing your thoughts to okay, we need to get out of this situation. I need to think this differently in order for us to be successful here. [00:30:44] Speaker C: And it is touch example, especially if that has been what your experience has been. You are the great reward willing from touch. One thing you can do is acknowledge. Say, is this, is there attention behind? As such? You may think that there is when your partner wasn't doing that at all, but you're making all these different assumptions. Once you can change that mindset. You know, my husband, my partner is just, this is just a hug. This doesn't mean he wants sex. Hug the hug. That's just a simple little switch, a little reframe. It's changing that positive sexual mindset. [00:31:20] Speaker D: What's important to note is there is no instant gratification here. This is something that's going to take depending on how wedged you are in your sex rut. It could take weeks, maybe even months. Don't give up. Persevere. Understand that climbing out of the sex rut is absolutely doable and it doesn't take a lot of effort. It's more paying attention with intention and focusing in on what you want to have instead of what you have now. If you listen to our podcast weekly, help you take this, your sex from just being meh to it being something that adds 15% to 20% to your couple's vitality. [00:32:04] Speaker C: Yeah. The fact that you are here and listening right now, that is a big step because that is a place where you are acknowledging this isn't where we want things to be right now. And I'm looking for the tools and to help to pull us out of that. Pat yourself on the back for that great job for just being here and listening and continue to join seg because we are ready to give you those small incremental tools because we want you to be able to say one of the things that we talked about today. Implement that into your life today. [00:32:37] Speaker D: You can take one thing and it doesn't have to be a big step. It just has to be something. Move forward. [00:32:46] Speaker C: Next week's podcast, we are going to discuss the choices that you may before, during and after sex and how those choices decide whether you will enjoy or not enjoy sex. [00:33:01] Speaker D: That's a good topic. Thanks, Amy. And for everyone out there, until next time, take care. [00:33:06] Speaker C: Take care. [00:33:07] Speaker B: Did you know that the sexual choices that you make before, during, and after sex determines how you feel about the sex that you're currently having. [00:33:16] Speaker A: Your sexual choices are behind the wheel. [00:33:19] Speaker D: And driving your sexual experience. [00:33:23] Speaker B: Hi, I'm Amy Rowan, the suburban sexologist. [00:33:27] Speaker D: And I'm doctor Trina Reed, and we're so happy to help your sexuality thrive after the honeymoon stage is over. [00:33:35] Speaker B: In this episode of the Sensational Sex podcast, you'll find out how taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them. And this is your ticket to sexual freedom. [00:33:49] Speaker D: And during our sex IQ segment, we had a very interesting discussion about Yoni massage. [00:33:57] Speaker B: If you don't like the sex that you're currently having, we're going to share how you can make different choices to get different sexual results. [00:34:06] Speaker A: Make sure to listen to the sensational. [00:34:08] Speaker D: Sex podcast where we give you the tools to create a sex life that. [00:34:12] Speaker A: Is fulfilling for you. [00:34:14] Speaker B: Are you ready to experience more passion and more pleasure? In my suburban intimacy practice, I offer one on one sex and intimacy coaching for women and couples. Book a complimentary discovery. [email protected] or learn more about my intimacy ignite program. Your solution to experiencing satisfying and fulfilling sexual experiences and connection even when you're busy, tired, and stressed, intimacy ignite is a curated collection of stimulating sex education activities and challenges, whether you are single or in a relationship. Plus, live coaching with me twice a month. Save $10 off your first month with the code podcast. You can learn [email protected] dot is more. [00:35:01] Speaker E: Fulfilling sex on your mind, but not in your bedroom? Then go to trinaread.com to get your free copy of the Sex Bootcamp Masterclass. While you're there, check out my award winning fiction book, the sex course, that went number one in its Amazon category. Three days after launch. Both the sex course and sex bootcamp workbook are available in audiobook. If you want to hang with groovy, like minded, sex positive women, then join my online courses and the success community. It's your time to create the sex life of your dreams. It all [email protected]. [00:35:44] Speaker B: Did you love what you learned today? Share this episode with someone who needs it friends don't let friends have bad sex. Leave a review for this episode and follow like or subscribe on the listening app of your choice. We love hearing from our listeners. Email [email protected] you can follow us on all social media platforms at sensationalsxpodcast and join our mailing [email protected]. [00:36:12] Speaker D: Me.