[00:00:00] Speaker A: Why do you need to write out your sex history?
[00:00:04] Speaker B: Understanding your sex history unlocks your past so that you can free your future sexual self.
[00:00:11] Speaker C: In this episode of the Sensational Sex podcast, you'll find out how you can download your free sex history questionnaire.
[00:00:20] Speaker B: We'll uncover why writing your sexual experiences is a powerful way to become more self aware and intentional, because your best sex happens when you're authentic and vulnerable.
[00:00:32] Speaker A: And then you can all watch us squirm. As Amy and I answer three of the sex history questions, we were surprised by each other's answers, and you might be too. We are thrilled to partner with ex.
[00:00:47] Speaker C: Sens who are all about making your sensual experience the best it can be.
[00:00:52] Speaker D: Why not try an aromatherapy massage at home? We'll tell you about Xen's amazing selection of luxurious crystal massage oils halfway through our podcast.
[00:01:03] Speaker C: We love what xcens is doing for your sensual and sexual experience.
[00:01:10] Speaker D: Check them out at xenz dash uSa.com. that's E x S E N S.
[00:01:18] Speaker A: Dash usa.com dot welcome to the sensational.
[00:01:21] Speaker E: Sex podcast where we help women in long term relationships thrive after the honey moon stage is over.
Are you a woman who wants a deep, intimate and satisfying connection with her partner? Of course you do.
Amy Rowan and doctor Trina Reid have the answers, and all you have to.
[00:01:44] Speaker A: Do is join us each week.
[00:01:46] Speaker E: Soon you'll be that woman who effortlessly has a satisfying sex life.
Follow us on social mediaensationalsexpodcast share this episode, leave a review and thank you for subscribing. Now let's start the show.
[00:02:05] Speaker A: Hello, beautiful people, and thank you for listening to the sensational sex podcast. We're so happy you're joining us.
[00:02:12] Speaker F: Even though your sex life will never be perfect, you can create a sex life that's perfect for you. And we are here to help you with that.
[00:02:20] Speaker A: Amy, I have a joke for you.
[00:02:22] Speaker F: Okay, I'm ready.
[00:02:24] Speaker A: What did the vampire say to the teacher?
[00:02:28] Speaker F: I don't know.
[00:02:30] Speaker A: I'll see you next period.
[00:02:33] Speaker F: Oh my goodness. Well, we're heading into Halloween. Everything's starting to get a little spooky. In addition to Halloween season, which, by the way, Halloween season is my favorite. Plus, it's my wedding anniversary, is the day before Halloween too.
[00:02:46] Speaker A: It's like a two for one. You get your favorite holiday and your wedding anniversary.
[00:02:50] Speaker F: Yes, and this year is 20 years, so it's a big year for us this year.
[00:02:54] Speaker A: Congratulations.
[00:02:55] Speaker F: Thank you. In addition to all of those wonderful things, the fourth week of October is also asexual awareness week. Asexual or ACe is someone who does not experience sexual attraction towards individuals of.
[00:03:08] Speaker A: Any gender, and asexuality is a sexual orientation and is different from celibacy in that celibacy is a choice to refrain from engaging in sexual behaviors and does not comment on one's sexual attraction. Approximately 1% of the population are believed to be asexual, although some experts believe that number may be higher.
[00:03:34] Speaker F: It's important to distinguish that asexuality is a sexual orientation, same as being heterosexual, homosexual, and all the different fluidity across the board. And there are some people who are like, just don't feel sexual attraction and is there something wrong with me? If this is something that you're just hearing for the first time, definitely look that up.
[00:03:54] Speaker A: It's good to hear that you belong. It's perfectly fine if you are not attracted to anybody.
[00:04:00] Speaker F: Today we're going to be talking about your juicy sex history.
[00:04:06] Speaker A: And diving into your past can tell you so much about your future sexual.
[00:04:13] Speaker F: Self, and you're going to get to hear our answers to a few sex history questions. Yes, I know. I saw this. I was like, okay, all right, we're doing it. But you know what? This is really important for you to do as well, so I'm happy to share my answers with you. Plus, as a thank you for listening to the sensational sex podcast, we have an awesome free gift for you, which is a deep dive into your sex history. And we're going to tell you more about that at the end of the podcast.
[00:04:44] Speaker A: Let's start with asking, what does your sex history mean? You have a unique sexual story to tell. By writing out your sex history, you're going to open up the why to what you currently experience in your relationship and sex life.
[00:05:03] Speaker F: And writing out your sex history is also going to help you unlock your past so that you can free your current and future sexual self. Trina, why is writing this out so important?
[00:05:16] Speaker A: There are patterns and habits that you've carried through your lifetime that you're probably not aware of. All of these memories are tied to very strong emotions. Every time you think of this memory, there's an emotional charge to that memory. When you write down these things that have happened in your past, it's like you're taking these memories in a bus and you're transporting these memories from your emotional brain over to your logical brain. Once it's in your logical brain, how you process these emotions is very different.
[00:05:54] Speaker F: Expressing your feelings on the things that you've experienced can be an emotional release in a way that is going to help you to make sense of things rather than holding them in. And so this is kind of like having a conversation with yourself. Writing, going back into these memories can be a healthy way to help work through these complex feelings.
[00:06:14] Speaker A: When you're in your logical brain, you can give this big emotion a name. Then you can logically break down why it is affecting you so deeply. You give it a name, you're breaking it down, you're holding this big emotion up to the sunlight and you're seeing right through it. And suddenly this emotion is no longer scary and you can move forward in your sexuality.
[00:06:40] Speaker F: This is why writing down your experiences is a very powerful way to become more self aware.
[00:06:46] Speaker A: How we tap into our most sexually expressive selves is being authentic and vulnerable. One of the few ways that we can do this is to start being aware of what is holding us back and why it's holding us back. Once you understand what is holding you back and why, you can start doing something about it. It's that awareness that's going to allow you to sink into your authenticity, sink into your vulnerability. Suddenly when you do this, you have a much easier and better and more dynamic connection with your partner.
[00:07:21] Speaker F: You have a sexual experience, it's a great one, it's a neutral one, it's a negative one. And then you move on. You go about your day, you go about your week, you go back into your regular life. I think a lot of people, most people have a pretty big separation between their sexual selves and the rest of their life. Most people don't really intentionally look at the pieces and all of the different little things that make up a sexual experience. When you have the courage and really intentionally take the time to look at these different things, you can really unlock and uncovered a lot of things that you may not have been aware of.
[00:08:02] Speaker A: And as we have said over and over in this podcast, it's the awareness that is going to move you forward.
[00:08:09] Speaker F: So how do you write out a sex history? The best way to do this is your way. And a lot of women feel like you have to do this perfectly. This is not an exercise in perfection. This is about you tapping into things that might be holding your sexuality back. One thing that I always like to say is done is better than perfect. Just do it in whatever way is best for you.
[00:08:37] Speaker A: And this example might seem like it's not on topic, but I think it's very on topic. Many years ago, I was trying to understand the best way to write out my to do list. I tried on the computer, I tried in a calendar. I tried everything and nothing was working. And suddenly I was writing my to do list on the back of an envelope. That worked for me. I still write my to dos on the back of an envelope, even though there's a thousand things available to me. That's what works for me and that's what I stick to. There isn't a best way to write out your sex history. Use a scrap piece of paper or the back of an envelope. Or if you prefer, you could buy a beautiful journal that gives you happy feels. Or you can open a word document, or a Google document, or the audio recorder on your phone. It doesn't matter. Just understand how you like to do this.
[00:09:31] Speaker F: I am a digital person. My handwriting is atrocious. My hands cramp up. So if I ever want to do a lot of writing, or if I want to be able to do things easily, I have to type things. That's my way of doing things. However, we do have, as a free gift for you, we're going to have a really amazing tool to help you do this. So keep on listening. You might prefer to write down your memories chronologically from when you were young to the present day. Or maybe you just want to do it in no particular order, just as things kind of come out of your brain. The important thing is that this is your story, so do it in whatever way works best for you. Your subconscious is going to bring up new memories. It's also important just to keep some spaces for that and allow those to come up if they need to.
[00:10:18] Speaker A: The point is to start.
Starting is key. So. And you're going to have a lot of reasons why you don't want to start. You're going to have a lot of reasons to procrastinate. No one wants to dig up old memories that you've managed to forget or you might feel are just way too complicated to wade through. It's not too complicated. As we said, you're now you're in your logical brain, and this is what your logical brain does best. It breaks everything down. And I promise you, once you start, the memories are going to be like dominoes. You're just going to get one and then you're going to be like. And then I remembered when this happened. If you're wondering about the time factor, it shouldn't take more than five minutes at the max to write to, just to write down a memory that you've had. And the thing is, if you take the five minutes to write it down, you're going to. There's going to be so many things that happen.
[00:11:15] Speaker F: Write down everything you remember. No memory is too small or insignificant. And if you don't know where to start, look at your first pivotal moments. Your first kiss, your first crush, the first time you remember masturbating, your first sexual encounter, your first relationship, your first orgasm. And start with those. And then that will start to expand out.
[00:11:38] Speaker A: If you're still stuck, you can go to my sex bootcamp workbook that has a list of sex history questions. And actually, Amy and I are doing three of those. Sex history. Oh, there it is. Thanks, Amy.
[00:11:49] Speaker F: I have it right here.
[00:11:51] Speaker A: I don't have this is such a great workbook.
[00:11:54] Speaker F: I love this. Like really genuinely, I'm using this with my clients. It's phenomenal. Grab it you guys.
[00:12:00] Speaker A: Amy's much better at marketing this than I am. You can. There's the sex history questions in my workbook as well. You can make sure to download your free, in depth sex history that we will get into how to do it at the end of this podcast.
[00:12:13] Speaker D: And now a word from our sponsor, men.
[00:12:16] Speaker C: Did you know that most women need sensuality in order to connect with her sexuality? Aromatherapy massage is something you can do today that will score you points by.
[00:12:29] Speaker D: Combining soothing touch with the sensual benefits. An aromatherapy massage gives your partner time for her desire and arousal to catch up. Hi, a big thanks to xcens for bringing you these aromatherapy massaging tips.
[00:12:44] Speaker C: Menta, we're doing you a solid and we're giving you a massage checklist to maximize romantic and sexual ambiance.
[00:12:52] Speaker D: Here is my pro tip. Your partner might want to shower or change their clothes before you begin. Make sure to brush your teeth.
[00:12:59] Speaker C: You need to adjust the temperature in the room to a comfortable setting. Make sure to dim the lights and set up a few candles for the romantic mood lighting.
[00:13:10] Speaker D: Turn off your phones and electronics except for some music.
[00:13:14] Speaker F: Go ahead and play that to create.
[00:13:17] Speaker D: A relaxed and calm atmosphere. Here's another pro tip. Search your streaming service with keywords like Zen, yoga or meditation.
[00:13:26] Speaker C: Spend time connecting with your partner before.
[00:13:29] Speaker A: You begin, so enjoy a glass of.
[00:13:32] Speaker C: Wine or simply spend a few minutes holding hands and talking.
[00:13:36] Speaker D: Have your partner lay on their stomach so that you can work on their shoulders and back first.
[00:13:41] Speaker C: What you're going to do is rub Xen's crystal massage oils into your hands before you begin. Use about a half teaspoon to start and add more to your hands when they get dry. Then you're going to rub this oil between your hands to warm it up.
[00:13:57] Speaker D: Before you begin let your hands glide over their skin. Count slowly in your head to 20 for each section that you massage, like their neck, left shoulder, right shoulder, the middle of the back, etcetera.
[00:14:13] Speaker C: So then your partner's not going to tell you this, so we will. Sometimes women just want a massage that does not lead to sex.
[00:14:24] Speaker D: Another thing that's important is that sex doesn't always have to mean intercourse. When you mix your sex with sensuality, it opens a new, exciting world where your partner will become a lot more open to sex.
[00:14:39] Speaker C: With aromatherapy, massage preparation is key, so make sure to have Xen's massage oils at hand so the application is seamless, making for a relaxed and comfortable experience.
[00:14:53] Speaker D: Xen's amethyst sweet almond or carnelian apricot crystal massage oil are light, absorbent and delicately scented. Perfect for a relaxing, stress relieving sensual massage.
Both are 100% natural with no artificial fragrances.
[00:15:14] Speaker C: And if that wasn't enough, Xn's massage.
[00:15:16] Speaker A: Oils are good for you.
[00:15:18] Speaker C: They're certified organic. These blends of pure, natural botanical. Again, these blends of pure natural botanicals will leave skin feeling nourished, soft and smooth, and it comes in a convenient spill proof bottle.
[00:15:36] Speaker D: Go right the second before you get distracted and enter at xcens dash usa.com.
[00:15:42] Speaker F: That'S ex.
[00:15:46] Speaker D: Usa.Com. and use the promo code sensational for 20% discount.
[00:15:52] Speaker C: Go right now and make a space for sexuality by giving your partner sensuality with the Xenz aromatherapy massage oils.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: And now we return to our podcast.
[00:16:05] Speaker F: All right, it is time for our sexual iq test.
[00:16:09] Speaker A: Okay, it is that time.
[00:16:11] Speaker F: All right, are you ready?
[00:16:13] Speaker A: I'm ready.
[00:16:14] Speaker F: Okay. Why do men often report having twice as many sex partners as women? Is it a yemenite? Because men do tend to have more sexual partners than women, b because men and women tend to use different counting strategies, or c because evolution has men wanting to seek out more partners?
[00:16:38] Speaker A: Well, the answer is b. Men and women tend to use different counting strategies. Men were more likely to estimate or ballpark their number, whereas women were more likely to go through and actually count the partners that they had.
[00:16:56] Speaker F: Okay, that makes more sense to me because I'm like, how can you counting strategy, like, a number is a number, you just count. But okay, that makes more sense to me.
[00:17:06] Speaker A: My husband's always rounding up, so the year I turned 51, he's like, you're around 60, are you? And I'm like, I'm not 60, I'm 51. What are you saying? That's what he does. He rounds up now I'm calling him 60 and he doesn't like it very much.
[00:17:24] Speaker F: That's so funny. I don't know if you've ever seen there's questions that go around on Facebook, like, ask your husband these questions every year. And I do. It's the same questions every year. And I've been asking him these questions probably for seven years now. It's like, what makes me happy, what makes me sad? But the one that he gets wrong every single year is my height. He always says, I'm five'six and I'm five'five. Which five'five? Is a very easy number to remember.
And he's always like, five'six. And I'm like, wrong. You got it wrong last year, you got it wrong the year before. I mean, I appreciate that you think that I'm five'six, but no, I am still five'five. And I'm, you know, pretty soon I'm going to be shrinking. So funny. Yeah, they just round up or estimate. That's very interesting.
[00:18:07] Speaker A: Back to writing out our sex history.
I'm going to ask you, Amy, why do you think it's so hard to write out your sex history?
[00:18:18] Speaker F: I feel like there would be two reasons. One is just simply taking the time to do it.
[00:18:26] Speaker A: The time.
[00:18:27] Speaker F: Okay, I'm going to sit down. I'm going to take an hour or whatever away from all the other things that I have to do. And I'm pretty good example of, like, the average woman with three kids and busy life taking the time to do that. And part of that, taking the time is recognizing that it's important enough to me to prioritize it.
[00:18:49] Speaker A: You are important enough. Yes, that you are valuable enough and you are important enough to take this time to do it.
[00:18:57] Speaker F: That would be the first reason it would be challenging for me. The second reason is there's some difficult, uncomfortable memories that are there that sometimes you don't want to look at. And sometimes there can be traumatic memories. It's difficult to want to get back into that space. That would also make it challenging. What do you think? Why do you think that's so difficult, Trina?
[00:19:16] Speaker A: Well, I think that the majority of people never communicate about sex, and then suddenly you have to put a descriptive sentence together about your sex life and your sexual memories above these visceral emotions that we're talking about that the sex history will dredge up. There's an anxiety of not being able to write your thoughts out in a coherent way. I'm a writer, and maybe I'm just speaking for myself. But I know that if I can't get this sentence down in a proper way, it paralyzes me. And so please don't worry about your sentence structure. When you write out something that's been sitting inside of you for such a long time, it's going to be a win and a reason to celebrate. And you are going to feel lighter without this baggage. But I want to give this a caveat.
When I've written out my history, there were moments that I was bawling. It was uncomfortable. This is not for the faint of heart, but when you get to the other side of this, it's emancipating. It is challenging at times. You do have to push yourself to go to those darker places. Every time you do, you're just freeing yourself even more to and opening yourself up for bigger and better and happier sex adventures with your partner.
[00:20:42] Speaker F: So it's time to get real. The important thing is to fearlessly write down the parts that you rarely, if ever, have shared, like shame, rejection, ignorance, trauma, or any other difficult parts of your sexual experience. And the more detailed that you can be about these specific events, especially the icky stuff, the faster and easier this process will be. Difficult emotions can't stand up to the sunlight. And when you pull them out and you turn them around and you look at them, you're going to bring up those difficult feelings. But those feelings will pass, and then you are able to start to move on and release all of this.
[00:21:29] Speaker A: There's a huge freedom. And as you write, please pay close attention to how your body's reacting. Whether it's a positive sexual feeling, like you smile, you giggle, you've got butterflies in your stomach, or if it's a negative feeling, like your throat tightens or your chest and gut clenches so your body is telling its story and you need to listen closely.
[00:21:59] Speaker F: So we're going to do today's podcast a little bit differently than the way that we typically do them. Each week, instead of putting on our sexologist hats, we are going to ask each other three of the sex history questions that you will find in your free gift that you will get at the end of this podcast.
[00:22:20] Speaker A: So the sex history questions are meant to guide you and help jog your memory.
[00:22:24] Speaker F: It's very important to note that if any of these questions trigger an emotional reaction, pay attention to that and write that down. All right, Trina. Well, shall I ask you first?
[00:22:37] Speaker A: Yes, Amy, ask me. Ask a question.
[00:22:40] Speaker F: Okay. Have you ever seen yourself as a sensual or sexual person?
[00:22:47] Speaker A: Well, there's two sides to me, there's my work side and then there's my personal side. I would say when I'm working I'm a pretty confident person because I have a natural confidence for what I do. I come across as sexy and I know it. Right? I'm canadian and I don't like to brag, but when I'm working I know that it's there and it's so great. However, in my personal life, I've never really felt sensual or sexual. I relate to those characters that are socially awkward and nerdy and they don't ever fit in with people. I'm that person who's just that odd. I'm the sidekick who's the smart one who doesn't really fit in with everybody. And no, I've never seen myself as a sensual or sexual person because that's how I feel. That's why I'm so good at my job, because I understand what the average woman is thinking because I am that person. How about you, Amy? Have you ever seen yourself as a sensual or sexual person?
[00:23:51] Speaker F: This is such an interesting question and going back into memories as a little girl, I remember masturbating when I was very, very young. I was never shamed for it, which I appreciate. And so through that, I think I have always seen myself as a sexual person before. It wasn't sexual at that point. It was just helping me fall asleep. But once I started to understand more about what I was actually doing, I saw myself as a sexual person. I wouldn't say that I've started to embrace that side of myself until fairly recently.
And I think maybe it's going along with a little bit of the confidence that comes in the forties of starting to be more purposeful and intentional in the experiences that I'm having and that I'm creating. And certainly just kind of as I've grown in my career, I've been learning more and experiencing more and sparking a lot more curiosity. And thankfully, I've got a wonderful husband. We explore in lots of different things, so that's been a lot of fun.
[00:24:53] Speaker A: What I like about your answer is sexuality is an evolution. And your sexuality has been an evolution. And how you see yourself as a sensual and sexual person has been an evolution.
[00:25:07] Speaker F: Yes, and I also relate to what you're saying because I also do feel like I have two sides of myself. I have my work side and I have my personal side. But mine are flip flopped from you, where I feel a lot more confident in my personal life and in my personal sex life. In my work life because I'm expanding my career. I'm not in a new career because I've been doing this for a long time in a different capacity. But since I'm at the beginning of this phase of my career, I'm still growing in my confidence there. So it's kind of funny because I feel a little flip flop from you there, which is interesting. Next question. Trina, has your sexual desire changed over the years and or with each season of your life? For example, did it change after a few years with your partner, after kids, perimenopause, or. I don't think you've been divorced, but. Or after divorce. So has it changed in different seasons of your life?
[00:25:56] Speaker A: It has, and I just remember when I was in my twenties and my thirties, I was so insecure. And then I met my husband, and we've grown together. When I had my kids, I wouldn't say my libido flatlined, but it was pretty close to flatlining. It was a huge struggle during that time in my life to reconnect. And I remember during the pandemic, my libido absolutely flatlined. I'm almost through perimenopause. There were. That was, like, a lot of hills to go through. The one takeaway that I have from that is I intentionally had sex all the way through. Now that I'm on the other side of that, I'm really happy that I made that decision, because that consistency with my partner, my husband, now we're at a place where it's opening up for us. I think the belief is that sexuality has to stay the same, that sex is static. It's always the same, and it's not. As you go through your life, it's constantly evolving, it's constantly changing, and I think you need to respect the space that you're in in that moment and where your sexual desire is in that moment in order to be able to move through that with your partner. How about you, Amy?
Has your sexual desire changed over the years and or with each season of your life?
[00:27:26] Speaker F: Less about the way my desire has changed, and it's been more about the role of sex in my life and how that has changed. You know, when I was a younger woman, when I was in other relationships, earlier on in my relationship with my husband, I certainly felt loved through sex. If I was not having sex, then I was not feeling loved. That was a reflection for me to that end, because that is the way that I felt loved. I've had a pretty high sex drive, sex desire. There certainly have been some ebbs and flows, but it has always been an expression. So when times when, if it wasn't happening, then for me, that was like, there's something wrong in my relationship. I'm not feeling loved. There's something. And that was always very concerning for me. Now sex has changed from before. It was a little bit more of just, we're just gonna have sex because we're gonna have sex. And then as we have been together longer, things have gotten more creative. We've changed a lot of the ways that we're having sex and the ways that we're expressing that love. That's been very, very fun and interesting. Now, I will say, and this has just recently started happening, and I don't know if this is perimenopause, because, and I'm 46 now, so I'm kind of in the beginning of that, but I've really just, within the past six months, started to have these nights where I'm like, absolutely not. I'm too tired. And I've never really experienced it to that level before.
But even in those moments, sometimes I know that when I'm really stressed out, the best thing for me to do is have an orgasm. So a lot of times I'll still power through it, because if I'm really stressed or really tired, it's actually a really phenomenal, I don't know, cure for me of some sort.
[00:29:10] Speaker A: Well, it's good to know that's a positive thing for you. I hate to say this to you if you're perimenopause.
[00:29:15] Speaker F: It's just, yeah, I'm ready for everything to flip around. And I hope that perhaps with me being ready for that, that it will not be as dramatic as I hear. But I also believe in the wisdom and experiences of all the women before me.
[00:29:30] Speaker A: So education is key. Like, if you're paying attention to your body and you know this is coming, it's still going to come, but you're aware of it, and so you can manage it a lot easier.
[00:29:42] Speaker F: All right, so next question for you, Trina. Are you open to new sexual experiences?
[00:29:48] Speaker A: When I was in my twenties, I was very experimental. When I met my husband, I just started to attend graduate school, and I was learning all these new things, and we were just having a heck of a good time. Like, we were doing stuff. Honestly, I'm sure he felt like he hit the jackpot. Cause we were doing it all, and it was great.
[00:30:10] Speaker F: Marrying a sexologist is there are certain benefits.
[00:30:15] Speaker A: Well, and then. And I was like, oh, and we can try this, and we can do this. And he's like, okay, let's do it. It was awesome. Then we had kids, and then that changed because I decided to have kids later in life. It was like, kids. And then perimenopause. Boom. Our sex life really took a hit. I just was so happy to get through a week and be able to have sex once that week. There were many of those weeks where I was like, you know what? I had sex. I'm just, like, so happy that I did that. That was all that I could manage in that moment. But now we're on the other side. My kids are teenagers now, and I'm almost out of menopause anyway. So now we're ready to open up and get back into the new sexual experiences.
[00:31:01] Speaker C: And because, as I said in the.
[00:31:03] Speaker A: Last question, because I did keep that connection going, because I did make intentionally make sure that we were connecting at least once a week, even though sometimes I didn't want to. And now we're here, and we are able to open up to new sexual experiences, and I'm excited we're in that stage of our life, and I'm excited about where we're gonna go as a couple. This is exactly what I want for every listener to have is this excitement that we're going into this next stage of our life. How about you, Amy? Are you open to new sexual experiences?
[00:31:38] Speaker F: Yes, absolutely. With. With limits and boundaries? 100%.
And I don't know if you get these questions, Trina, because I certainly get a lot of questions about different things that I may or may not be into.
I prefer actually to keep certain things just for me and my husband, you know, but I'm a Gemini, and I don't know how much you go into astrology. I'm always seeking new experiences of all sorts. I love to go new places and see new things. I don't want to listen to the same music over and over again. I like new, different things all the time, so I am absolutely open to new experiences, but with intention and thought. My children are a little bit older. I know. Are my older two about the same ages as your two? But I still have a younger one at home. I'm looking forward to getting to where you guys are, and I really am. I'm going to be sad when my children are out of the house, but I'm also kind of looking forward to the freedom that's going to come with that and the ability that we're going to be able to have to do different things and try different things and go places and. And just be able to reconnect and be with each other, because after spending, you know, decades giving and giving and raising children and all that, of which I would not change a single second to that, I'm also really looking forward to being able to just dive into the most important person in my life and explore all different kinds of fun things. So, yes, I am.
[00:33:02] Speaker A: I think we both agree that this is what we want for the listeners.
[00:33:07] Speaker F: Yes.
[00:33:07] Speaker C: Wherever you are.
[00:33:08] Speaker A: And just get. Just get to the other side and be excited. Your sexual future with your partner, how did that feel to open up? I know I do this for a living, and I wrote these questions, so, like, I'm familiar with these questions. Even that being said, I don't think it was that difficult to answer these questions.
[00:33:28] Speaker F: I didn't feel like these were. These were difficult to answer. And it's kind of fun to go in and look at your sexuality, be able to talk about. For you and I, it's probably much easier than most people because we talk about sex all the time. I think it's important to celebrate the things that are going well. And, you know, even if you're, as you're looking through your sexual history, things have not always been as positive or the way that we were talking about things.
Picking out the good parts and really, really celebrating and diving into them and just getting in to. To that luscious, juicy goodness of a sex life. Because one of the reasons I went back to school when I did was when my kids are gone, when my last child leaves the house, I want to have a career that I'm passionate about, that I can dive into immediately. Just a career, my marriage, my relationship, our sex life, you know, all of that. So, yeah, these were really fun questions. I know that there's some, some more difficult questions on that sex history, but I think it's fun to be able to look and really pull out the good, juicy, positive stuff.
[00:34:44] Speaker A: If you're looking for motivation as to why you should write out your sex history, I would say maybe if you do, you could also be here with us. If you get here with us, let us know. We want to know.
[00:34:59] Speaker C: Email us. We love the stories.
[00:35:01] Speaker A: So writing out your sex history unlocks your past, freeze your future sexual self. And there is nothing more powerful than that.
[00:35:11] Speaker F: And with awareness, you can intentionally start to create your current and future sex life.
[00:35:18] Speaker A: Remember, there is no right or wrong way to write your sex history. Just start. Starting is the key.
[00:35:26] Speaker F: Done is better than perfect.
[00:35:28] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:35:29] Speaker F: And dredging up memories. It can be challenging, but you are worth it.
[00:35:35] Speaker A: And make sure when you're writing things out to pay attention to what your body is saying because it's telling its story and you need to listen to your body story.
[00:35:44] Speaker F: If you want an easy way to start your sex history plus find out things that you might not have known about yourself, go to sensationalsexpodcast.com and download your free gift of a deep dive into your sex history. We will also have a link in the show notes for you.
[00:36:03] Speaker A: You can try this out yourself. Just go and download this and start answering the questions. You might be surprised at what comes up for you. In our next podcast, we are going to be talking about how sexual shame short circuits your sexual experience and what you can do about it.
[00:36:22] Speaker F: Well, thank you for joining us today and stay sexy on next week's episode.
[00:36:29] Speaker B: Of the Sensational Sex podcast in the.
[00:36:32] Speaker C: Bedroom, you need to understand how sexual shame short circuits your sexual experience.
[00:36:39] Speaker B: Shame stops healthy, vibrant and sexual women and is a big reason that women lose interest in sex.
[00:36:46] Speaker C: In this episode, you'll find out why you and your sexual happiness are worth the effort of confronting any negative emotion in order for you to move beyond them.
[00:36:57] Speaker B: Society dictates to women every day that she can't like sex too much or too little, that she needs to like sex just the right amount. But how much is the right amount?
[00:37:08] Speaker A: We're also going to discuss a common shame that women have that's vaginal farts and how you can overcome feeling ashamed of if anything like that happens.
[00:37:20] Speaker B: Make sure to listen because this podcast.
[00:37:22] Speaker F: Will give you the tools to create.
[00:37:23] Speaker B: A sex life that is fulfilling for you.
Are you ready to experience more passion and more pleasure? In my suburban intimacy practice, I offer one on one sex and intimacy coaching for women and couples. Book a complimentary discovery call at suburban intimacy.com or learn more about my intimacy ignite program. Your solution to experiencing satisfying and fulfilling sexual experiences and connection even when you're busy, tired, and stressed. Intimacy ignite is a curated collection of stimulating sex education activities and challenges, whether you are single or in a relationship. Plus, live coaching saves $10 off your first month with the code podcast is.
[00:38:08] Speaker A: More fulfilled filling sex on your mind.
[00:38:09] Speaker E: But not in your bedroom. Then go to trinaread.com to get your free copy of the Sex Bootcamp masterclass.
[00:38:18] Speaker C: While you're there, check out my award.
[00:38:20] Speaker E: Winning fiction book, the sex course that went to number one in its Amazon category. Three days after launch. Both the sex course and sex bootcamp workbook are available in audiobook.
If you want to hang with groovy, like minded, sex positive women, then join my online courses and the success community.
It's your time to create the sex life of your dreams.
[00:38:46] Speaker A: It all
[email protected].
[00:38:49] Speaker F: Dot did you love what you learned today?
[00:38:52] Speaker B: Share this episode with someone who needs it friends don't let friends have bad sex. Leave a review for this episode and follow like or subscribe on the listening app of your choice. We love hearing from our listeners. Email
[email protected]. you can follow us on all social media platforms at sensationalsxpodcast and join our mailing
[email protected].
[00:39:18] Speaker F: Dot.
